A Total Noob’s Guide to Glamping in Idaho

It really doesn’t get more outdoorsy than Boise. I mean, all Boise cool kids spend two-thirds of the year living out of tents, dipping in hotsprings, hiking mountains, armwrestling black bears, winning lumberjack competitions — you name it. Yet somehow, in my four years of living there, I managed to avoid setting foot in a tent even once. I was like those idiots who grow up in Vegas and never bother seeing the Grand Canyon (*cough* Fender *cough*). So, when I went back for a visit, I decided to check “camping in Idaho” off my bucketlist. Well, technically, “glamping in Idaho,” since I had my own personal camping concierge and buddy Teri taking care of everything for me. Turns out, all you need is $15 and a Ter-Bear, (who has a tent, a camp stove, sleeping bags, etc.).

Here’s a step-by-step on how you can go glamping in Idaho, too!

1. Choose a campground that takes you past Horseshoe Bend, so you can stop at Volcanic Farms for homemade pies. (We got a full marionberry pie and a slice of rhubarb for the drive.) This is also the point where you kiss your cell service goodbye. Pine Flats Campground is about an hour and 45 minutes north of Boise on Highway 55 — if you don’t have to stop eight times to pee.

2. On the drive up, pull over for some selfies near the Payette River and wait for rafters to go by. It can take a while, so use this time to think up excuses for never, ever hurtling yourself down a rushing river in a tiny scrap of rubber. (Pro tip: When the raft company car rolls up, you know the photographer is in place and group is about to go through.) Highway 55 runs parallel to the Payette River, so you can get spectacular views from the comfort of your car, even if you miss the rafters.

3. Hopefully, you packed as smart as me. Because all camping is glamping when you bring along lipstick, wine and friend who knows what to do. I grabbed a nice comfy spot while Teri “taught” me how to pitch a tent (hehehe) and set up a campsite.

4. Hit the hot tub. Ten minutes walk from the Pine Flats Campground, there’s a small hotsprings aka nature’s hot tub. The 1/4 mile hike in can be unglamorous, so wear Tevas or water shoes and be sure to carry your juice (yeah, juice 😉 ) in a plastic cup. Only dicks use glass. The hotspring is just around the corner from that adorable chick (top) with the amazing parasol. I contained my jealously long enough to snap a photo. Note to self: Never leave home without a parosol.

5. It’s almost time for dinner, but first torture your friend by making her take photos of you posing on a rock like an asshole. (I know, I know… I look like an idiot without a parasol.) My favorite swimsuit from Trashy Diva and unnecessary kimono by H&M.

6. Walk by this cute as fuck VW camper on the way back to the site.

7. Start a fire to drink wine around and to toast marshmallows. (We chose Trader Joe’s vegan marshmallows for an extra touch of douchiness in our smores.) Get a good buzz on, because sleeping on the ground is terrible. I would never do this without a sleep mat; I loved this one I borrowed.

8.  Wake up with the sun, because you have no choice, and get that fire started again for some Starbucks instant coffee.

9. Read a travel magazine and play with the dog while Teri cooks up a killer breakfast on the camp stove. I talked her into sharing her tasty hash recipe below. (Don’t forget to follow her on twitter @TeriLouWho.)

10. Repeat the whole process for as many nights as you can stand not taking a shower, then enjoy the beautiful ride home!

Teri’s Hash A’ Campin’ Recipe

Written by Camp Master @TeriLouWho

Ingredients:
1 SWEET Potato
4-7 Red potatoes
1/2 Large sweet onion
4 Eggs
4 Garlic Cloves
Some Extra Virgin (not since Fender’s mom went out of town that one time in high school) Olive Oil… an appropriate amount to lightly coat the food?
Salt
So much pepper
Some dried oregano. About a tablespoon
A bit of dried basil, same amount as the oregano.
Cast iron pan, or whatever pan you have
* You can also include amazing, delish Brussels Sprouts, if your campin’ buddy doesn’t have the worst taste ever…

1. Peel that SWEET potato.
2. Dice them all up.
3. Dice up that onion.
4. Put it all in a ziplock bag- or a large bowl with lid.
5. Peel and mince the garlic.
6. Add the garlic to the bag.
7. Poor a bunch of that “virgin” olive oil in the bag.
8. Put all those spices in that bag.
9. This is the most important step: SEAL THE BAG or BOWL.
10. Ok now, Ladies, (Yeah)
11. Shhh you got to shake it. Shake it.
12. Shake it,
13. Shake it like a Polaroid picture.
14. Warm the pan up.
15. Put some EVOO in that pan.
16. Place contents of bag into pan.
17. Let it warm up stirring every once in a while.
18. Once SWEET potato is getting a bit soft (you can test this with a fork and your mouth):
19. Create a 4 small areas to place the eggs.
20. Turn heat way down to slowly cook.
21. I added some coals to the cast iron frying pan, and placed on top to help with the clear egg whites. This was a mistake? Over cooked the yolks. But maybe I just left it on a bit too long.
22. Jiggle the pan every once in a while to see if eggs are done.
23. Eggs done to your satisfaction? Serve up and eat.

*I have cooked eggs like this about 6-10 times.  I am no master. I really like egg whites to be cooked, not clear, but to master that and have the yolks still be runny? Practice.  I’ll get there eventually. So will you.